I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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