I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
