I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
