I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
