just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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