So drunk its hurt
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
