Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
