just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
