i just had sex bonerless
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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