No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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