I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
