Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
