there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
i just made my gag reflex go away.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Randomize
