VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
whose ass print is on the piano?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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