SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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