make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Randomize
