I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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