I am in a vortex of obligation.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
