I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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