you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
