But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
