just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I love you. Go after that dick
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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