haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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