come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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