And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
operation harelip BJ is a go
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
