Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
