Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
