The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
