I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
