Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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