id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
