do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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