my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I am one with the molecules
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
