I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
