have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I am mentally ready for anal.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
