sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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