Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
