YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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