So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
