You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
