I bet he comes in French.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
