I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
