Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
