my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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