Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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