when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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