some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize
