I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
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