i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
