I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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