Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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